Letter to my mother

8-23-1997

Dear Mom,

I pray and think you're in heaven and that you're looking down and can see me. If I knew, or even felt this way fefore, then I wouldn't have done the things that I've done in the past, to bring you shame while you were looking down at your babygirl. I hope you turned your head mommie. It doesn't even sound right, me calling you mommie. I don't remember! Everytime I think about you, I cry, because I miss you so much! I am reading this book mom, and it's helpin me understand you and daddy being gone and I'm working to deal with that now. I wish I had a sign to say you were here and see me. I am helping the little girl you left behind. I'm 30yrs old now and it's time I grew up and dealth with your presence not here. I am being a mother to me, from now on, I've tried other women, not ONE could be you! I tried it! I wonder if you and daddy are together. Or if you see and speak to each other. Mommie, you know who is not getting along and I wish you were here to make them act right. I've tried! You know who is stubborn. I also wish you could see my baby, your grandson! You would ador him. That truly hurts, so bad! I know if it was up to you, you wouldn't have left us. Our Father took you and Florie, while we were still young, for His purposes, so I will not question Him, but I've come to understand! I feel better already! Mommie, I'm learning to be the person God created. I want nothing to do with evil, satin, or any of the wrongful things I used to do. I love Jesus mom, that's why I know you're with Him in heaven. You and daddy! That's where I want to go! Up with my family! Sometimes, when I was younger, I needed you, but you know who was there for me. But mom, she's not there for me anymore, she has 2 kids of her own, and she's not there for them either. I wish I understood why. I miss her. I know her kids hurt just like I did, growing up without their mother. But, this is all, making me stronger so I can be there now, for the rest of the family, who is lost, like I was! They need to know inner peace and healing too! They need to get to know Jesus. Jesus is helping my heart. But mommie, even though I love you, miss you, and always will. I'll be okay, with God's Spirit in me. I can't wait to see you again. I feel better, knowing that you (somehow) hear, my letter to you. I will miss you, until I see you again, I love you mommie.
Your baby-girl, Reece
P.S. I didn't get to say good-bye to you, when you left I was so young, so I'm still, not going to say goodbye!
Mom, I'll c u soon!